Our most pressing issue:
How we, as a nation, feel about our First Lady baring her arms and what, if anything, we need to do about it. I saw at least three headlines last week about this “controversy.” I just did a Google search for “Michelle Obama bare arms” and got 499,000 results. The New York Times today has an op/ed piece on this “issue.” Although, in her defense, columnist Maureen Dowd calls Michelle’s “sculpted biceps” a symbol of America’s strength.

I was talking with The Boyfriend about this, and he pointed out that Michelle Obama is not the only First Lady to bare arms; Jackie Kennedy occasionally did, way back in the 1960s.

President Barack Obama also created controversy recently when he was photographed in swimming trunks. On a beach. While he was on vacation. It’s not like he was sitting in the Oval Office, greeting foreign dignitaries while wearing nothing but a Speedo.

So, yeah. America clearly needs to do something about our swimsuit-wearing President and his bare-armed wife.

(Spotted at a salon/spa in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood.)

829?! I’m guessing that “breathing” and “being awake” are in her top two. Oh, and as you can tell from the book title, women don’t cheat.

It gets better: Houston’s Web site (infidelityadvice.com), with a graphic of her book prominently displayed, advises visitors to “check back often because new information is added regularly.”

I find the idea of “829 telltale signs” of cheating and the additional “new information added regularly” depressing and ridiculous. (“Depriculous”? Hmm, maybe not.)

Houston also says that infidelity peaks around Valentine’s Day.

Happy VD — cheaters!

“Meaty, cheesy, bacony.” And obese-ity and heart-attacky!

The BK Stacker, brought to you by Burger King (and perhaps a cardiologists‘ association, to ensure lots of business).

According to Burger King’s Web site, you can have your BK Stacker with double, triple, or quadruple layers of cheese and beef. And it comes with an unspecified sauce and bacon. And here’s the best part: “No veggies allowed.” (That last statement may not be 100% accurate. It looks like the sauce is Thousand Island dressing, which typically has sweet relish–made from pickles–and onion in the ingredients.)

Some highlights of Burger King’s “nutritional” analysis for a double stacker*–i.e., two beef patties and two slices of American cheese: 610 calories, 350–more than half!–calories from fat. 39 grams total fat, 16 grams saturated fat (that’s the bad kind). 125 milligrams of cholesterol. 1,100 milligrams of sodium. One gram of dietary protein.

Wondering about the quadruple stacker*? That’s four layers each of beef and cheese. 1,000 calories, 620–again, more than half–from fat. 68 grams total fat, 30 grams saturated fat. 240 milligrams of cholesterol. 1,800 milligrams of sodium. And still just a single gram of dietary protein.

I’m not sure why I’m including this post in my “Food” category ….

* To see a nutritional analysis for yourself, go to Burger King’s Nutrition page, click “Flame Broiled Burgers”, then scroll down to click the item of your choice.

Just in case regular haggis (traditionally made from sheep heart, liver, and lungs with oatmeal, spices, and other ingredients, boiled in the sheep’s stomach) and vegan haggis (mixed vegetables, beans, nuts, spices, etc.) don’t do it for you:

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(Note: Probably not vegan or even vegetarian. Many gummy products contain gelatin, which is made from “the collagen inside animals’ connective tissue.” )

Gummy haggis will be available “soon” at Archie McPhee in Ballard (2438 NW Market St.).

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According to Esquire magazine, The Proper Umbrella for “a grown man” costs anywhere from $50 to $775. Brooks Brothers sells a plaid ‘brelly at the low end of the range. For mere multiple hundreds of dollars more, Briggs offers a plain, black model.

If, as Esquire advises, an umbrella is “an investment”, okay, I can see spending $50. But $775? Are they freakin’ kidding?

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