(What it was: A “for sale” sign)

That is quite possibly the worst mixed metaphor ever.

What it was: One of the Top Daily Review Headlines on My Yahoo! homepage (which, for some reason, thinks I’m in on near Sunnyvale, CA … something to do with my ISP or some other Internetechnology thingy)

What it actually said: Place du Mistral

What it was: A placard on a window ledge in the Mistral Kitchen restaurant (2020 Westlake Avenue, Seattle), which is near the U.S. Federal Courthouse — so my “mistrial” brain fart wasn’t completely illogical.

And check out the entrance to Mistral Kitchen:

I love how the granite walls and industrial metal door and sign are softened by the plants.

What it actually said: Notice of Underreported Income

What it was: A spam/phishing e-mail

What it actually said: Deskside Support Manager

What it was: A job posting on Craigslist

The article describes transient global amnesia (TGA), a loss of short-term memory. TGA is usually a one-time event, usually occurs in people over 50 years of age, and is caused by strenuous activity — frequently sex. TGA appears to have some link with migraines and headaches.

So that old “Not tonight, dear, I have a headache” excuse just might be legitimate.

PS: I wasn’t sure which category(ies) to assign to this post. I settled on 1) “Entertainment,” because sex can be quite entertaining; and 2) “Oops” seemed like the other obvious choice.

“FRAGILE handle with care”

About two weeks ago, an unpleasant smell greeted me in the lobby of my apartment building: the smell of vomit mostly covered up with an air freshener or a cleaning solution. And a black doormat on the floor had a few obvious, whitish stains.

The night before, I’d seen a couple of apparently drunk girls (age 20 or so) going into the elevator. I didn’t think too much about it, other than, “I hope those damn kids don’t make a bunch of noise and play obnoxious, loud music.” (Obnoxious music, of course, meaning anything I don’t like.)

So, my guess is that one of the drunk kids puked on her way out of the building.

A couple of days ago, I saw a typed notice on the lobby bulletin board. The notice addressed a few topics, including a missing “recycling” bag that used to sit under the mailboxes. (Residents would put junk mail in it and someone would eventually dump it in the recycle bin and return it to the lobby.)

[thumb:1516:l]

“ … damaged by body fluids.“ My first thought was, “Must’ve been those drunk girls.” My second thought was, “Wait, puke isn’t the only body fluid.”

Too much information; “damaged” would have been sufficient. On the other hand, not enough information. “Body fluids” made me wonder if someone had tried to kill and dismember someone and drag the parts out in the bag. Or maybe someone had sex on it. Or used it for a toilet. “Damaged by vomit” or “puked on” actually would have been better, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Regardless — thankfully, the elevator was unscathed in the incident.

PS: Somehow it seems appropriate to follow posts about various kinds of haggis with a post about puke.